so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
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The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
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Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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