And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
