Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
