Please, let me fuck your mom
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
