She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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