i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
