That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Everything about him screamed your future.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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