That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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