Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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