..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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