this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
