She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
