I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize