i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
