He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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