Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
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