I'm drive I can fine osifer
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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