You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
