My nipple is on Facebook.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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