I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
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