i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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