I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
