I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
