Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
