she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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