we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
