Welp...herpes.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
