return my video game
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
