I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
