We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize