My room smells like vodka and shame
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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