seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
