I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
