it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
