hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize
