I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
