what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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