too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
