i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize
