u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
