my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
