WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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