i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
