I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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