I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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