Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I want to fling myself into the sun
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
