words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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