If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
