I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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