i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Randomize
