Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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