so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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