it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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