I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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